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What’s your ‘difficult conversation’?

by Zoe Cohen on 09/02/2012

One person’s ‘difficult conversation’ is another person’s breeze. Whether you’re a logical planner who avoids highly emotional situations… a passionate visionary whose worst nightmare is being cornered on the detail… or a harmonious team player who steers clear of those hard-nosed performance conversations. So the generic sounding ‘difficult conversation’ is actually highly individual to us.

Ask yourself these three simple questions:

What conversations have you been avoiding and with whom?

What does the voice in your head say (come on, we’ve all got one) when you contemplate actually going ahead with one of these ‘tricky’ meetings or calls?

How much would it actually help you, the team, the business, the other person, if you bit the bullet?

“well yeah… but…” do I hear you say?

If so, try this very simple approach – stop thinking about yourself… instead put your energies where they are best invested – into concentrating on the other person’s perspective and your relationship with them.

In preparation for the conversation, ask yourself:

What do I know about this person and their goals and motivations?

What are my preconceptions and assumptions about them and what they may or may not think, feel or do?

In what ways are they similar and different from me, in terms of their style and habits?

How can I flex my style to help them to really hear me?

What great questions do I need to ask to really understand their position and what they want?

What you actually do is of course up to you… but there’s a strong chance that if you shift your focus away from yourself and towards the ‘other’, you’ll get a better result than you were expecting.

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1 comment on "What’s your ‘difficult conversation’?"

  • Ag_leadersin_photo_thumb
    anthony

    3 months ago

    I absolutely agree. When people shift their focus from an internal perspective (i.e. how am I doing) to an external perspective (i.e. how can I positively impact those around me) that's when greatness shall prevail.

    For example, the best CEOs put their focus externally (not on their own status, or their own pay package etc) but on the vision of their organisation, their shareholders, the environment, their employees, and very importantly, as you say the person that they're speaking to at any given time.

    1 flag as offensive/or spam

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